Revising: Applying Phase 3 of the Writing Process

Time is money in any business environment. To be successful in the business world, you must be able to create concise and easy-to-read messages. As you revise, eliminate wordy expressions, long lead-ins, fillers, redundancies, and empty words. Your audience will appreciate your brevity.

Which of these sentences contain wordy expressions? Check all that apply.

• In addition to the above, the client is of the opinion that, as a general rule, Comic Sans font is childish.
• Help yourself to the cookies in the break room.
• In very few cases will he return text messages.
• Until our copier is replaced, please use the one on the third floor.
• I worked on the MarkMaster campaign for the period of 35 hours last week.

Complete the sentence with the most concise option.

are canceled this week.

Read the following paragraph, and choose the best revision for one of its sentences.

Dr. Blake is retiring at the end of the month. There will be an unoccupied office upon his departure, and it is big in size. Because every other office is occupied, we should convert Dr. Blake's office into a lounge. It is absolutely essential that this issue is discussed at the next staff meeting.

• Because every other office is filled, we should convert Dr. Blake's office into a lounge.
• Because every other office is occupied, it's recommended that we should convert Dr. Blake's office into a lounge.

Evaluate each of the following sentences, and choose the most concise revision.

There are many ways one can help a user when answering the phone.

• At this point in time, one can help a user in many ways.
• You can assist callers in many ways.
• At this point in time, the great majority of users can be helped in many different ways.

I am sending you this letter to let you know that the team is ready for its next assignment.

• The team is ready for its next assignment.
• This is to inform you that the team is ready for its next assignment.
• I am writing this letter because I need to let you know that the team is ready for its next assignment.

I would like to inform you that the Johnson report might not be complete by the deadline.

• The Johnson report might not be complete by the deadline.
• I am unsure as to whether or not the Johnson report will be complete by the deadline.

Identify the redundancy in the sentence.

It is absolutely essential this format is followed when responding to the Request for Proposal (RFP) from the client.

Microblogs refer to messages on sites such as Twitter, Tumbler, or Plurk.

How can a writer ensure a message is as effective as possible while limiting the number of characters in the message? Check all that apply.

• Write in fragmented sentences to save space.
• Eliminate drafts when possible.
• Remove hashtags.
• Use short but descriptive words.
• Personalize your message.